Personal Statement of Experience
(Example from Queen’s University)
1. List any Award or Distinction that you have earned in the last 4 years. Please indicate if each is a High School (HS), Community (C), or Other (O) Award/Distinction, and briefly explain (maximum 90 characters with spaces). Please also include the year the Award/distinction was received.
2. Identify any extracurricular activities and the total number of hours you devoted (or expect to devote) to each. Please include the positions held and whether each is a High School (HS), Community (C), or Other (O) activity (maximum 90 characters with spaces). Activities are valued equally and may include, but are not limited to, the arts, athletics, hobbies, volunteerism, and religious, social, farm and/or household responsibilities.
3. List any full or part-time paid or unpaid employment you have had in the last 4 years (maximum 50 characters with spaces. Please indicate the approximate number of hours you worked each week and the number of years you held the job.
Personal Statement Essay:
Queen’s University Prompt: Choose one extracurricular activity or one employment opportunity you have listed on your Personal Statement of Experience. In 300 words, or fewer, describe the impact of this experience and the greatest learning outcome for you. Your answer will be evaluated for content and writing style.
Other Commonly Used University Prompts
Prompt #1: Share your story.
Answer this prompt by reflecting on a hobby, facet of your personality, or experience that is genuinely meaningful and unique to you. Admissions officers want to feel connected to you and an honest, personal statement about who you are draws them in. Your love of superheroes, baking chops, or family history are all fair game if you can tie it back to who you are or what you believe in. Avoid a rehash of the accomplishments on your high school resume and choose something that the admissions committee will not discover when reading the rest of your application.
Prompt #2: Learning from obstacles.
You're trying to show colleges your best self, so it might seem counterintuitive to willingly acknowledge a time you struggled. But overcoming challenges demonstrates courage, grit, and perseverance! That’s why the last piece of this prompt is essential. The obstacle you write about can be large or small, but you must show the admissions committee how your perspective changed as a result.
Prompt #3: Challenging a belief.
Your answer to this question could focus on a time you stood up to others or an experience when your own preconceived view was challenged. Choose this prompt if you have a relevant—and specific!—experience to recount (and reflect on). A vague essay about a hot button issue doesn’t tell the admissions committee anything useful about YOU.
Prompt #4: Solving a problem.
This essay is designed to get at the heart of how you think and what makes you tick. Present a situation or quandary and show steps toward the solution. Admissions officers want insight into your thought process and the issues you grapple with, so explain how you became aware of the dilemma and how you tackled solving it. Don’t forget to explain why the problem is important to you!
Prompt #5: Personal growth.
Just like Prompt #2, the accomplishment or event you write about can be anything from a major milestone to a smaller "aha" moment. Describe the event or accomplishment that shaped you but take care to also show what you learned or how you changed. Colleges are looking for a sense of maturity and introspection—pinpoint the transformation and demonstrate your personal growth.
Prompt #6: What captivates you?
This prompt is an invitation to write about something you care about, avoid the pitfall of writing about what you think will impress the admission office versus what truly matters to you. Colleges are looking for curious students, who are thoughtful about the world around them. The "what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more” bit isn't an afterthought—it's a key piece of the prompt. Make sure you explain how you pursue your interest, as well.
Prompt #7: Topic of your choice.
This question might be for you if you have a dynamo personal essay from English class to share or were inspired by a question from another college’s application. You can even write your own question! Whatever topic you land on, the essentials of a standout college essay still stand: 1.) Show the admissions committee who you are beyond grades and test scores and 2.) Dig into your topic by asking yourself how and why. There isn’t a prompt to guide you, so you must ask yourself the questions that will get at the heart of the story you want to tell.
Prompt #8: Describe a person you admire.
Avoid the urge to pen an ode to a beloved figure like Gandhi or Abraham Lincoln. The admissions committee doesn't need to be convinced they are influential people. Focus on yourself: Choose someone who has actually caused you to change your behaviour or your worldview, and write about how this person influenced you.
Prompt #9: Why do you want to attend this school?
Be honest and specific when you respond to this question. Avoid generalities like "to get a good liberal arts education” or “to develop career skills," and use details that show your interests: "I'm an aspiring doctor and your science department has a terrific reputation." Colleges are more likely to admit students who can articulate specific reasons why the school is a good fit for them beyond its reputation or ranking on any list. Use the college's website and literature to do your research about programs, professors, and other opportunities that appeal to you.
​
Tips for writing a Personal Statement Essay
Many universities don't interview applicants, so the only information they have about you is on your personal statement. This is your chance to present a good image. If you are applying to an oversubscribed university course/program, e.g. Business, Pharmacy, Medicine, etc. and everyone applying is likely to have good grades, the personal statement is the only thing that will set you apart from other applicants.
University admissions officers read your personal statement, and they are asking questions that a future employer would also ask.
· Is the student/applicant suited to the program/position that they are applying for?
· Does the student/applicant have the necessary qualifications and qualities for the program/position?
· Is the student/applicant conscientious, hardworking and unlikely to drop out/ quit?
· Will the student/applicant do their best and cope with the demands of the course/ job?
· Can the student/applicant work under pressure?
· Will the student/applicant be able to adjust to the new university/ work environment?
· What are their communication skills like?
· Are they dedicated to this program/company and have they researched it well?
· Do they have a genuine interest in the subject/work and a desire to learn more about it?
These are the sorts of questions you need to answer in your personal statement.
How to start
The first thing to do is get down some ideas, a set of headings and bullet points about how you relate to these headings. Here are some examples:
What you want to study at university and why
· Specific aspects of the programs/courses that interest you
· Examples of coursework you have completed in high school
· Practical work you have enjoyed
· Books, articles, etc. you have read related to the subject area
· Work experience or voluntary work in this area
· Personal experiences that lead to the decision to take this subject
· Where you hope a degree in this subject will take you in the future
· Experiences that show you are a reliable and responsible person
· Part-time jobs
· Community and charity work
· School clubs and what you have gained from these experiences.
Your interests and skills
· What you like to do in your free time
· Sport and leisure activities
· Subjects you study that are not examined (option courses)
· Musical instrument(s) you play
· Languages you speak
· Prizes you have won or positions achieved in your interests
You and your subject
Saying why you want to take your course is possibly the most important part of your personal statement. You can have perfect grades, great extracurricular activities and be a wonderful person, but if admissions officers feel you aren't committed to your program/course, you won't get a place.
Remember - if you can't think of any good reasons - should you be taking that subject?
Most statements are written in an essay format, as a guide, spend around 50% of the space talking about your subject and how you're suited to it and 50% on your work experience and other activities.
Example:
Paragraph 1: Introduction to the faculty/program, the aspects you’re interested in and why
Paragraph 2: What you have done related to this that isn’t already on your application form. Extracurricular experience and relevant activities. Your interests outside of school, particularly those that show you are a responsible and reliable person.
Paragraph 3: Your goal of attending university and a memorable closing comment
The Prompt
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Example Essay
Intro
I've never been comfortable bragging. In fact, I was raised to be modest about my achievements, whatever they might be. Applying for college is nothing but bragging, and it makes me uncomfortable. In addition, every other essay you're likely to see is nothing but a litany of impressive accomplishments from top to bottom. That's not me.
At least, that's not me yet. Those applicants who have already tasted far-reaching success are pretty well-formed as people. They already know what works and see no reason to change. Why should they? They already invented a new form of pizza. They have life figured out, or sincerely believe they do. They are wrong. There is no better teacher than failure.
Think about it for a second. Wisdom is what you get from experience. Experience is what you get from failure. The transitive property works out from there. I know this because I failed and it turned me around in a way that modest or even spectacular success could not have. It all started with a D.
Body
Getting a D probably isn't the worst thing in the world, but it's not something anyone wants to see, let alone put, on a college application. It came back to me, scrawled in red, on the first big history test of the year. The one the teacher had assured us was a third of our grade. I could already see my chances of a four-year college going up in smoke and my school year hadn't even started yet.
What happened? I'm not a D student. I'll get the occasional C as well as the occasional A. D's are out of character for me, and enough of a stomach punch to really get my attention. The short version is, I didn't study, and I don't remember precisely why. There is always a reason not to study, isn't there? I didn't study and I went into a test woefully unprepared and got beaten up.
I had two options here. I could accept that I was in fact a D student despite what I had thought. Or I could study hard for the next test and try to bring my grade up by the force of the average. I realized something pretty important: while I had already forgotten the reason I didn't study, I never forgot the grade. Thus, the grade itself was far more important than whatever it was I was doing instead.
Imagine, instead, if I had gotten a C or even a B. It would have taken sheer, blind luck, but it could have happened. If this had happened, if I had succeeded rather than failed, I would have learned nothing. Or, at the very least, I would have learned that I didn't have to study, which is the opposite of what any college-bound senior should learn.
Conclusion
I chose to work harder. By my failure, that D, I had already learned the consequences of not studying. I knew both the problem and the solution. It didn't make it easy. I steadily brought my grade up with subsequent tests and papers.
At the end of the year, I got a better grade than I should have, based on strict averages. The teacher weighted improvement over other concerns. Those who buckled down and worked harder as the year progressed were rewarded.
In essence, my hard work paid off twice over. Had I not failed, I would have learned nothing. I might have done much worse on a later test since I "knew" studying was not important. Instead, by failing, I was able to right my course. Going to college, I have concrete experience with just how important hard work can be.
Okay, I might be bragging a little bit.
Why This Essay Works
This essay is a good example of how to turn an ostensible weakness into a strength. The writer takes a prompt, which explicitly acknowledges a failure of some kind, and shows how it leads to later success. This can be a winning combination, as it shows a certain amount of humility, which can be in short supply amongst students.
The writer also uses humour but does not let the essay get overpowered by quips and jokey asides. Humor can be a wonderful way to liven up a piece of writing, but allow it to work in the service of the piece rather than the other way around. In addition, never be afraid to cut a joke that just isn't working. It's better to have no humour at all than forced attempts at it.
Good writing is all about using concrete examples. In this case, the writer is able to point to a specific incident that shows the prompt in action. This specific failed test gives the writer a sense of immediacy and allows them to explore the idea. In this way, the reader gets the sense that this is true wisdom gained.
That last point is vital. To truly answer a prompt like this, you have to be completely honest about your failure, whatever it might be. No matter what it was, chances have you learned something from it. There's nothing like a taste of failure to make sure you never experience it again.
​
​
The Prompt
What matters to you, and why?
Example Essay
Intro
There's a short list of what is supposed to matter. It's been signed off on, supported by the culture, and in some cases bolstered by millions of years of evolution. Things like friendship, family, perseverance. There is nothing wrong with any of those concepts, but mine is a generation raised by television and movies, by comic books and video games.
This isn't all that different from other generations, either. Over time pop culture becomes stories, stories become legends, and legends become myths. People like Hercules, Beowulf, and Hiawatha were admired by generations past, so looked at from that idea, my choice is not too terribly strange.
What matters to me, fundamentally, is all of those important things I mentioned earlier. The same ones the other essays likely return to again and again. For me, a personification of those values is far more important, a figure I can look to as the exemplar of behaviour. It can be none other than Steve Rogers, better known as the Avenger, Captain America.
Body
Yes, Captain America is a comic book character. Yes, he's gotten wider fame by being the centrepiece of a couple of very profitable movies. It would be tempting to dismiss him as "kid's stuff," but he's anything but. The point of Captain America is far more clever than that, exemplifying important values in a palatable way.
Friendship is probably one of the most common things one could value, and for good reason. Friends are, essentially, the family you choose. Captain America demonstrates his commitment to friendship when he squares off against the Winter Soldier, formerly his best friend (spoilers, sorry). While another hero like Thor or Batman might have simply beat the other man into a pulp, Captain America throws aside his shield and refuses to strike his friend, eventually redeeming him from the life of a brainwashed assassin.
Perseverance is commonly cited as the weakness of my generation. There's an idea we give up at the first sign of adversity. Once again, I look to Captain America as an example. Before he became a super soldier, he never backed down. Whether it was standing up to bullies or fighting in World War II, if Cap knew he was in the right, he would go down fighting.
Patriotism is not really considered cool. Cynicism is far too easy to fall into. I have had to wrestle with it, as too often good ideas are co-opted and fall apart in the face of reality. Once again, Captain America shows what we could accomplish if we really did work for the best of America. When his country needed him, he volunteered. When his country went too far, he helped pull it back. Cap is a champion of the spirit of our ideals, the best face of America.
Conclusion
Don't dismiss a man just because he wears red, white, and blue tights. And also happens to be fictional. Wisdom can be found in the most surprising of places if you only look for it. I found it with Captain America, and his example continues to inspire me.
My generation's heroes are largely fictional. There's room for debate as to why this is, and it's certainly much too large to tackle here. The point is, we should not dismiss a hero for this simple crime. It's not their fault they're fictional. It can be a boon in the sense that a fictional person is much more likely to live up to their values.
Captain America is valuable because he displays all the best in the American psyche as it is intended. He is the best in all of us. So when he faces problems and issues far more extreme than anything I will deal with in my life, he still can show me the way. My friends aren't going to be brainwashed assassins, but they might do something wrong and need me to forgive them. I'm not going to fight Hitler, but racists and anti-Semites still exist in the world.
That is why Captain America matters. Not just to me, but to the culture at large.
Why This Essay Works
This essay has the reader's attention right from the first sentence. The writer names Captain America, and by choosing such an unorthodox thing to write about, they have the reader. They begin with the simplest critiques, that Captain America is a comic book and movie character, and deal with them adequately enough. Being fictional does not mean something does not matter.
In the body, the writer lays out precisely why Captain America matters, using concrete examples from the films. In this way, the reader, who is likely to have seen at least one of the movies, can instantly relate. This also casts choices made in the storyline in deeper meaning, showing that the writer is adept at analyzing fiction.
The conclusion ties the essay together. The writer explains exactly what their point was throughout. The second-to-last paragraph especially shows how these larger-than-life examples can be understood in a more sedate environment. In essence, the writer takes a large risk with the subject of the essay, but with solid logic and good writing, defends the case well.
Shmoop.com. (2018). College 101: What matters to you, and why?. [online] Available at: https://www.shmoop.com/college/college-essay-what-matters.html [Accessed 10 Jan. 2018].